This is the time of year we see it in our lives the most. We start the year off with internal pep talks and New Year’s Resolutions (or goals, depending on your perspectives) and when we start to slide backwards after our progress, we look hard on ourselves. We doubt we’ve really made any progress, especially when we’ve struggled to overcome challenges and life throws us another curve ball that knocks us back off our feet.

The journey of life is not always easy, and sometimes we carry forward our battle scars of wounds to our mind, body and spirit. Often we work hard at “getting ahead” and find the road difficult and long. We persevere with all our strength through the struggle. Those steps back can get us discouraged and we wonder “what’s the point when you’re always knocked back down?”.

The One Step Forward….

Those are the moments we need to see that one step. The one step we still moved forward. You are more than you were before those three steps. That one step is part of who you are now with what you’ve seen. You are one step higher than you were and you need to see that success now more than ever before. It didn’t come without effort from you.

The Two Steps Back….

They hold their own value. They contain insights you could not have been given by any other way. Experience is a powerful teacher if we’re willing to really look at the lesson it has for you. You’ve seen what doesn’t work – are you willing to open up to new possibilities of what could? Sometimes the answers lie outside the box.

Reflection is a lens that, when colored by compassion for ourselves, can show us the opening of another path. Can you give that to yourself? The more we give it to ourselves, the more we are able to give it to others.

Where You Are….

We’ve still gained that one step forward and with it we’ve gained experience in the other two. So don’t sit down and give up…. You’re further ahead than you give yourself credit for. Look inside and see what you’ve learned from the challenges. That’s where your personal growth is. It’s where the seeds of wisdom are planted, and if carefully cultivated, can serve others.

You matter more than you know.

Written by Melody Belliveau

The past few elections have been votes based on who people hated less. It wasn’t about belief in the candidate we chose, it was about how much we detested the opponent. We chose by colors and waves for red or blue with contempt for the other side. All that does is bring greater divides. It doesn’t have to be that way.

For our voting system to matter in its true spirit, it needs to be about who shows us the best character, the one with outstanding integrity that you see. One who will do their best for the country as a whole – not just one side of the divide. Are they looking for power, or do they genuinely care about those on every street? American Pride must include us all.

Do they place their votes while in office based on what’s good for our country, or is it based on party lines? We cannot say that either side has not been right or come up with good ideas at least part of the time. Both have value and need to work together. Votes in office on party lines is a failure to work together. Does that make them blind to what the other side can do that’s good?

Ballots received by mail

Getting ballots in the mail can be a great opportunity if we look at the benefit it gives the voter. We can research who they really are before choosing. The majority of people don’t know ahead of time all of the candidates listed on the ballot before choosing. This gives you the chance to know with the time to choose wisely, with open eyes.

Then you have a choice of how you want to deliver it, either by mail or town hall or drop box. If you bring it in, remember to show kindness to the workers. They have taken on a job that we as a nation, have turned into a dangerous position. What does that say about us? Don’t be part of that. Use your own character and integrity to show them support and kindness. Show gratitude that they are willing to serve us. Being in service to others does not mean they lack value that’s worthy of respect – on the contrary. Sometimes it requires an an admirable amount of patience to serve through the disrespect, and that’s a reflection on the public they serve. Let’s change that together and in the words of Peter Clarke, “Just be kind out there”.

So go out there and vote with character and integrity, and spread the energy of hope, rather than an energy of hate. Our country really needs that more than ever now.

Written by Melody Belliveau

You are living in your pain and anguish and your actions show that to the world. You are feeling like life is closing in on you. We need you to face your humanity. To deny it only hurts you more. The only view you see is that you will defend yourself at the cost of all others, and you are not bluffing.

The truth of the matter…

But there is a truth you are refusing to see. One that needs to be pointed out to you and to the world. You have the power to stop it all. With one declaration from you of a cease war, it will end all of what is going on. Your very own words would end the threat you see for yourself. And it would be the bravest thing that you’ve ever done in your life.

You may never become a hero to those you have already hurt, but to the parent who stays up through the night worrying that their children will be the next to be sacrificed – they will be grateful for your strength to have the guts to stop this. Once we admit we were wrong – we aren’t wrong anymore.

Make no mistake – all this is on you because you are the aggressor and peace is literally in your hands. But you can’t feel it because you haven’t had it in your heart. Even with the power you have, happiness still alludes you. Stop and think of the possibilities of what peace can accomplish if that were your focus. Destroying others will never lead to peace of the soul it only feeds the ego that can never be satisfied. Why is it better to create destruction instead?

The why of it all ….

Your why is very important – facing it will require integrity because the answer is inside, not in the possession you seek of other land. You are not the man and leader you still have the ability to become. Do you have the courage it takes to serve your soul instead? Hitler did not – and only those who live in their wounds admire his legacy. The rest of the world sees him as a monster in human form to this day.

We understand that you are powerful – but can you really see what your power has created? Death and destruction to both sides. You can’t ignore that. It will take much more courage to stop this, than it does to escalate the destruction.

“He who wishes to fight must first count the cost” Sun Tzu

Your actions are hurting those you lead, you must see that. What is the best course of action for the greater good of your own people? The true measure of a leader can be seen by the answer to this question: “Is your legacy one that evil benefits from?” If it is, it is your responsibility to change that. While you are still here, you still can. Now is the time for you to change course and you will have sent a powerful message of true courage.

Hope ….

Do you have that? I pray you have the strength to become a true legend. The world needs you to find it inside yourself. Oh how I wish your own eyes could see and your ears could hear the message in the words I’ve written here! But I have hope like the depth of the seas that you will find the strength to do this and start to heal your soul. I have hope that the ripples of light energy here will have an impact – no matter how they get to you or by whom. Words touching a soul will touch others and the ripple widens. Perhaps someone who reads this will carry it forward even if only in their thoughts at first. Maybe then into seeds of a brighter future filled with peace. Who knows? Maybe prayers will come out of this for you from the world that reach your soul. What will you do when it does?

Written by Melody Belliveau

As a society, America tends to look at holidays as simply a day off of work to celebrate. Cookouts are a common way to spend Labor Day. Tuesday it’s back to the grind and nothing was gained by the day before. But can there be more to it than that?

Your Value

There can be, if we use it for reflection of our labors. To acknowledge your value in the workforce – no matter what your station is. The view of essential workers was spotlighted during the pandemic and included those that many take for granted.

But you matter

And Labor Day is a day for reflection of that. Know that you are valuable and take the time to recognize that you are. With the struggles of today, you need that for yourself or work is just another stressor of your life. Let the truth of your value energize you, and find a way to love what you do so it doesn’t drain you instead.

Whether it be raising children, corporate or Foundation work, or the minimum wage service industry, you have value. Know it, feel it, and let that empower your soul. We are all in this together and you are an important part of community, even when others overlook that fact. So when you go in to work tomorrow, keep that in mind if you start doubting yourself. We need you, so thank you for being there to do the job you do.

Melody Belliveau

Drug addiction can come from 2 different places

The medical profession

It can come from the trust in a prescription that leads to a physical addiction. Someone who “would never!” finds themselves facing a fight from their own body when the usage stops. It is not limited to pain medications. That’s just the ones we watch for, and when they happen, we look down on the patient. Sometimes with pity, other times with disgust.

You doubt their word if they insist “this is not who I am! I didn’t think it could happen to me.” The damage has been done and carries on. They don’t want help because they fight it in their mind without acceptance of the truth. To be given help requires vulnerability and the acceptance that they are powerless to stop it on their own. That requires trust in others and it’s hard to have a rational mind in the middle of it. The further into it, the harder it is to see from the inside. Sometimes the very doctor that got you there won’t admit it, never mind be able to help you. It is beyond their ability to give you a corrective course of action.

Escape from the wounds

The second side of it is experimentation for escape. What they often don’t realize is who they are trying to escape from – it is themselves. The voices inside one’s head can be relentlessly cruel. If they were a person in the room, they would need to leave it. But no matter where they go, this one follows. Sometimes it’s started as echoes from others. It replayed in their head until their own inner voice started repeating it. It becomes their agreement with themselves and their actions become proof of it’s truth to them.

They search for self medication that will dull the senses and quiet the voice. If they use it enough, get inebriated enough, they don’t have to care what it says anymore. By the time they realize they’ve made the words come true, they have no idea how to climb back up out of the darkness. And their body fights against even trying.

Thoughts become things

To deny an addiction is to deny the wound – whether physical or emotional. Just once more is to delay an action your soul is asking you to take. Healing starts with the thoughts of wanting better than this life. Healing starts with the courage to decide to walk the tough road of recovery for what could be waiting on the other side. Knowing they don’t want anymore of this life. It’s a fight that requires everything from you. It requires mind, body and spirit.

The mind because mindset is everything. Without a belief that you have what it takes, you are heavily disadvantaged. Thoughts become things. Feed your mind with what it needs to succeed. “You can do this!” is one of them. Be painfully honest about everything you need to heal.

The body will fight you tooth and nail. It doesn’t know how to cope on it’s own anymore. It will take all it has to readjust and become fully functional once more. Be kind, treat it gentle and believe it can do it with your help. Withdrawal is a journey through hell, often at a level of pain that is inhumane. If you don’t give up, time is on your side. Do what you can for your immune system to show your support for your body.

The spirit will be the hardest work. You will need to really look up and within. The scars on your soul and the raw open wounds that have never healed will need to be examined and understood. You’ll never fully heal the body if you can’t heal your soul. But it is work you can and must do. It becomes part of your strength and your character. Faith can take you through the impossible. Courage grows each day you do. You can win the fight – but it’s all up to you and no one can do it for you, no matter how much they want to.

To understand

Understanding doesn’t come from pity or coddling. Understanding comes from the human side. Compassion comes from seeing it and looking for an answer. We’ve got to change our minds about about demonizing them, because right now, with what people are going through, more and more people are trying to escape. There are those, including some of the most incredible people, that are choosing to give up and leave this world. Our homeless and suffering population is growing.

Can you honestly say, if you were forced to live on the street, you would never try to dull the pain? If you can jump to say you would not, then you truly don’t understand the pain of living on the streets. It hits all three parts of you – body, mind and soul, and you feel alone in it. Asking for help doesn’t always mean it’s there to receive.

Judgement of them

But these are the people we look down on. We don’t want to see or hear from them. We don’t trust them or want them in our neighborhoods. We decide that before we even know their story. If we are to judge them (and we do), how do we do that without knowing their story? And when you hear it, could you be sure you wouldn’t have landed there too? Remember, we can’t cast the stone if we can relate.

Asking the question “what did they go through?” is important and necessary. Not to excuse, but to understand and stop it from continuing on for them and others that otherwise will come next. The why of everything is key. You cannot solve a problem without understanding the why of it first. Compassion not contempt.

As the United States celebrates the 4th of July today, many will share their perspective of a freedom lost or won. It only depends on which side of the divide they agree with.

Roe vs Wade

There will be those who celebrate the overturning of Roe vs Wade as a freedom for the unborn. They hold this truth emotionally and intellectually. They have no doubt in their mind that they are on the right side of the divide.

Others, who view it as a freedom lost, will reflect with a sense of despair on what they see as a step backwards in time and an intrusion of their rights regarding a very private and personal medical decision for their own body. They are judged as being on the wrong moral side.

Seems impossible to be pro-life and pro-choice at the same time. But…… the reality of it is very few are pro-abortion. There are those who value life and the unborn that had thought NEVER but find themselves feeling no other option.

Where do we go from here?

A seat in the middle is the only place true change can be made. It’s how you sit down at the table and get things done – together. Surely each state has the courage to sit down with those from both sides who already use their voices to protest, either for or against abortion rights.

Call in those who are brave enough to talk about the impact of the whys, and then come up with ways to help change the outcome. Alleviate some of the whys such as homelessness, drug addiction, poverty and domestic violence. Make it one less thing that makes them feel squeezed into a corner they feel no way out of. Forcing those pregnancies will only add more suffering.

Doctors and those who assist on the front lines, need to be able to share their views and, those circumstances that still haunt them. They can give valuable guidance from their experiences.

Voice or judgement

Someone simply voicing that they would NEVER – that’s murder, are not the ones that have been in the ring of this fight. You cannot see your side and judge, and then think you’ve seen the full picture. That view makes you blind and no help can be given when you come at it from judgment.

Instead of simply winning a side with a court judgment, what if we could try setting out with a purpose to #SaveOne? For those you can help choose to bring forth the life, you will have saved one. For those feeling it is the only option, is there a way to help others because of it? Is cord blood collection something that could be used to save those who otherwise wouldn’t make it?

Could the reason it was the only option be something that needs more awareness, like a devastating medical condition? Could that baby’s life matter in that way?

Can they still matter?

They are not just a “procedure”, and for most, they will have an impact – but we can choose what the impact is. Don’t they deserve that respect rather than violence, rage and shame after the fact? Be humane in the the act of their death and make them matter.

Regardless of what state you live in – and regardless of the stance taken on the issue – there’s work to be done. It must be done with compassion without judgment. Then maybe, just maybe, we could save those that might not have been saved before. Isn’t that the real bottom line? Compassion not contempt.

Written by Melody Belliveau