Yesterday I had written my reflections of my journey through January. But I didn’t post it. Sometimes when that happens, I find myself criticizing my inactions.- “a day late and a dollar short” came up in my thoughts at the end of the day. Guess I’m still learning to trust (as I’ve seen before) that the Universe had more to show me, as January wasn’t quite over yet.
My heart condition of SVT with an extra electrode in my heart (on medication for) kicked in and my heart spent the rest of the night galloping like the horses I feel drawn to. (Ironic since I am highly allergic to them and can’t get near one.) I thank God every morning for the gift of a new day, but this made me question again this month if I would see the next.
I knew the signs of needing medical intervention for my heart to need rebooting, as has been done before, so I waited and observed through the night like my own nurse. I used to joke when explaining it that God gave me such a big heart, he gave me an extra part. But with that heart, I have so much left to do to serve. Every single day that he gives me.
“…Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve got to understand that the reason that you are existing in this world today is because you have things that must be done and only certain people are qualified, to take it to the level that it needs to be taken to…” Coach Pain from Never Give Up. I’ve shared this quote many times and on many platforms because I truly believe this about every one of us. So I know February will be the month that sees the best of me if I’m gifted the time here.
January was quite the journey
I started it with an ambition to take all that I have been learning and integrating them into my daily habits. My goals are big ones and I wanted to make the most of each and every day. Then Covid hit my entire household of 7. No one needed hospitalization and we faired through it, all quarantined together.
My goals came to a pause, although there were some new habits that became even more important while I withdrew from much of social media to rest. My writing was merely focused on journaling and jotting down insights my meditation time brought my way. Self care that is stressed as important was not just an option but a necessity for recovery.
For me, being high risk, should have scary, and losing Betty White before her anticipated birthday, was not only sad, but unnerving for me with my birthday coming up. For someone with my rare autoimmune disorder, my age was a rarity on it’s own. From what I could find I am the oldest one alive with it in the world, and well past any expectations of the medical community.
Making it to my birthday with Covid made it all the more significant and family and friends made me feel loved with an overwhelming amount of birthday wishes. I even have a new toasting tradition that started last year with my amazing friend from LinkedIn, thank you Tiffany, and all of you who took the time to think of me and reach out.
Once I had recovered, along with the rest of the family, my single-parent daughter had a work trip week to New York and needed me to stay with the kids. Family comes first and I put my presence in those moments rather than my goals. This was a time of bonding that was a huge Blessing on its own.
Although home with a fresh perspective for my time, I realized I had been sitting in a comfort zone of where I used to be not wanting to be seen. Brene Brown says vulnerability is showing up and being seen when there are no guarantees. That is the growth uncomfort zone I had been in through 2021. Taking that self care time brought me comfortably to the sidelines. Stepping forward again was something I hesitated with. But growth is seeing that and recognizing the need to step back into the me I am becoming.
So for February, I am ready to make it the best of who I am . Life is beautiful and fulfilling and I’m going to make it the Blessing it’s meant to be.
What insights did your January journey gift to you? Do you see them as valuable to your February ahead? You are meant for something special. You matter and you are meant to share how with the world.