As the United States celebrates the 4th of July today, many will share their perspective of a freedom lost or won. It only depends on which side of the divide they agree with.

Roe vs Wade

There will be those who celebrate the overturning of Roe vs Wade as a freedom for the unborn. They hold this truth emotionally and intellectually. They have no doubt in their mind that they are on the right side of the divide.

Others, who view it as a freedom lost, will reflect with a sense of despair on what they see as a step backwards in time and an intrusion of their rights regarding a very private and personal medical decision for their own body. They are judged as being on the wrong moral side.

Seems impossible to be pro-life and pro-choice at the same time. But…… the reality of it is very few are pro-abortion. There are those who value life and the unborn that had thought NEVER but find themselves feeling no other option.

Where do we go from here?

A seat in the middle is the only place true change can be made. It’s how you sit down at the table and get things done – together. Surely each state has the courage to sit down with those from both sides who already use their voices to protest, either for or against abortion rights.

Call in those who are brave enough to talk about the impact of the whys, and then come up with ways to help change the outcome. Alleviate some of the whys such as homelessness, drug addiction, poverty and domestic violence. Make it one less thing that makes them feel squeezed into a corner they feel no way out of. Forcing those pregnancies will only add more suffering.

Doctors and those who assist on the front lines, need to be able to share their views and, those circumstances that still haunt them. They can give valuable guidance from their experiences.

Voice or judgement

Someone simply voicing that they would NEVER – that’s murder, are not the ones that have been in the ring of this fight. You cannot see your side and judge, and then think you’ve seen the full picture. That view makes you blind and no help can be given when you come at it from judgment.

Instead of simply winning a side with a court judgment, what if we could try setting out with a purpose to #SaveOne? For those you can help choose to bring forth the life, you will have saved one. For those feeling it is the only option, is there a way to help others because of it? Is cord blood collection something that could be used to save those who otherwise wouldn’t make it?

Could the reason it was the only option be something that needs more awareness, like a devastating medical condition? Could that baby’s life matter in that way?

Can they still matter?

They are not just a “procedure”, and for most, they will have an impact – but we can choose what the impact is. Don’t they deserve that respect rather than violence, rage and shame after the fact? Be humane in the the act of their death and make them matter.

Regardless of what state you live in – and regardless of the stance taken on the issue – there’s work to be done. It must be done with compassion without judgment. Then maybe, just maybe, we could save those that might not have been saved before. Isn’t that the real bottom line? Compassion not contempt.

Written by Melody Belliveau

I heard that phrase a few times in the past 24 hours and since I watch for cues from the Universe on what topics to explore, I took the hint.

Stepping outside of the comfort zone

When we do something outside of our comfort zone, we do often lack confidence. Whether it is a presentation or a job interview, “fake it til you make it” is a common piece of advice. But before you take that advice, there are a few perspectives about it that you might want to consider.

“Fake it til you make it” is a just for now, temporary thing, to help you get through what you need to do. But even when it’s successful, there are always more challenges ahead. Getting through them with that temporary mindset can lead to a long road of “imposter syndrome” that lingers even with success. The line becomes blurred of where you no longer need to “fake it” because you have achieved success. Imposter Syndrome will rob you of the joy in your accomplishments. Faking who you are, doesn’t honor your soul.

So what’s the answer?

Life is a journey of learning. Seeking your success requires an unending amount of new experiences. A beginner’s mindset keeps you wanting to learn more, and no matter what field you are in, there is always more to learn. The energy you will give off of curiosity and eagerness for growth will take you farther in the long run than constantly focusing on tips and tricks for faking it. It will also give you the insights you might have missed while being anxious about “pulling it off”. It centers you on what you want, rather than your “performance” in doing it. As you grow and expand out of your comfort zone, your comfort zone itself expands.

Focusing on your why

Focusing on what it is you want to accomplish and the why of it will increase your confidence all on its own. Be excited for where you are going instead of how you look while doing it.

Be authentically you with your heart in all you do, and what’s meant to be will happen through you, and with you. Prayers are also a great way to be open to guidance. You have no idea of what amazing places your life is going to take you when you approach it with your heart and soul.

Thank you Rachael Jayne Groover for all you teach in empowering us to go after our dreams.

Written by Melody ✍️ Belliveau

The Oscar Awards Moment

The buzz today around the world circles around opinions of what took place at the Oscar Awards when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock on stage after an insensitive joke touched a deep nerve.

Violence is not the answer. But it can always serve a purpose when you cannot change what happened. It may not be the “Bucket Challenge” but hey, it’s an incredible opportunity to bring awareness into something most know nothing about. So can we stop focusing on the judgement of the slap and get into the good that can come out of it?

The Light Inside the dark

Most people have no idea just what Alopecia is. They have no inside view of how devastating it can be to a woman who has been given that diagnosis, especially when she sees her hair as an important part of her identity.

It seldom holds rhyme or reason when it develops and it can hit young or old, male or female. It can come and go at any point in life and can take as long as a few months to less than a week for all your hair to fall out.

The emotions of it

It often creates a tremendous amount of intense emotions, and a common one is feeling less than whole, fractured in who you are. That can be followed by feelings of guilt and shame, after all, you’re not fighting cancer – the most associated cause of hair loss. You’re not going to die – as though you have no justification for feeling devastated. You are not fighting for your life – but now hair loss is your fight.

The process

Chunks of hair fall out. Sometimes handfuls at a time. You wonder and worry at first if it’s all just your imagination. (Whatever you do, don’t go riding on the highway in a convertible with the top down without a scarf on, or you will not look the same when you arrive at your destination. A brush and mirror won’t help.)

Some that are close will notice, others will not at first. To wear a wig or not – for most it’s not really a choice if you need to be seen in public. And no, not everyone can rock the G.I. Jane look, definitely no pun intended. Being subconscious about your looks subtracts from your self confidence. That’s a stress that cannot be expressed in adequate words. And jokes, they cut deep when made in public.

Purchasing issues

Sometimes insurance covers wigs, but sometimes they don’t. The pandemic was hard on professional stores that fitted them and some had to close their doors. Purchasing online is often hit or miss and frequently look nothing like what is pictured. Finding the look that doesn’t make you feel stupid or fake is a difficult task of it’s own and takes serious perseverance. When you do, “make it last” is something that takes effort.

Wearing it

Winter is cold on the scalp and the wind cuts through it like it’s nothing – and the wind – ugh! Try focusing on what you’re doing when your biggest fear is having it blow away on you! But you feel even less whole wearing a hat and no hair. (A hat can slide the hair off – they don’t work well together.) It takes all you have to present yourself.

In the summer heat – you sweat under it, and it itches and boy can it hold heat when you don’t want it to! At home you wear a scarf instead and family warns you (when they remember) that someone is coming with them for a visit. It’s your cue to put your hair on.

Hair adhesives – ha! They are their own challenge, and when your head is hot and sweaty, add a prayer, it’s a necessity!

Sometimes a loved one will put their arm around you to introduce you to someone they know. You quickly pull back – and give the wrong impression. You felt it slide – oh no! Now it looks like a reflection on how you feel about your loved one – ugh! Do you explain to the person they just introduced you to? Nah, that’s way too much embarrassment for all concerned. Then you worry they think your love is fake.

Zoom calls are not a spur of the moment possibility and you have to decide if the uncomfort in the heat or cold is something you are willing to endure.

Only those closest to you see the battle you struggle with, and the subject will run with a reflection of pain. Jokes made from the lack of understanding are made at the expense of others and can bring emotional reactions. Would you come to the defense of a loved one in that circumstance? How would you handle it?

The Moral of the story

People say “Be kind out there. You never know what others are struggling with.” This is a perfect example as to why.

Let’s make something good come out of this momentous incident. It got global attention. It was the Oscars – seen around the world. What better platform to raise awareness?!

Like I said before, it’s not the “Ice Bucket” challenge, but sometimes we still become messengers of the Universe. This one’s a powerful message.

Written by Melody Belliveau

How will this end?

This war has multiple potential endings that could take place. Many see it as their worst fears. Others see the solution as ridding the world of your power.

I have a different ending in mind. You, finding the courage to turn this completely around. The equality of the darkness from you is the light of what you could become.

The ones that admire you and the ones that fear you would stand in disbelief and then question themselves with your example. The rest of the world would be in awe.

Will you be a great overcomer?

The inspiration of the world is in people who share their powerful stories of overcoming. Just think of the powerful story yours would be. Right now you are a spokesman of what anguish and anger can make you feel and do – and then how you can overcome even that.

The process

If you could feel, what you’ve been longing to feel, what would it be? Are you willing to do the work and take the steps it takes to get there? Not going to lie – it will hurt – but it will be well worth it if you keep going through the pain.

Yours will be different, for it will be displayed for the world. You chose to put yourself in that position with your actions. That takes guts but only from under the barrel. No one boasts of being cunning. It is not an admirable quality. But turning it around for good – that’s powerful and it would be true courage. True courage builds integrity.

The Actions

Pardon those who spoke out against you and were punished. They showed true courage to stand up for their beliefs, because it takes more to speak up against injustice than to go along with it. Eliminate the laws you created to silence those who speak their truth.

Cease fire and change your orders given to fight into ones that not only stop the attack but start helping to restore what’s been damaged. That act will take the most courage of all.

Choose

Each and every day and each and every minute of it, is your moment to choose courage instead of anguish and rage. They are simply the path to evil.

I believe you have it in you or you would not be in your position. I am speaking to the man – not the power behind him – because even though you have become a force that seems greater than life – you are still a man. You have vulnerabilities, guarding them as you do may be at your own demise.

Turn them around. Think about it – if someone like you could show that example – you would inspire others to turn their lives around.

The Challenge

I challenge you to step into a role no other dictator has accomplished. You have the ability to create a jaw-dropping ending that doesn’t have the world relieved with your demise. Do you have what it takes?

Do you? Only you can decide.

If my spirit could fly, it would stand beside you. Then it would stand between you and your opposition. This is what I would say:

You don’t hate each other

“You do not hate each other. You are neighbors on the earth. At Christmas you may have both tucked your children into bed and felt the joy and love in their soul. You may have both cheered for your favorite sports team last month enjoying your weekend with snacks on the couch.

Did your children do their homework while you felt pride and love for your family? You are both human with hopes and dreams. Chances are, you have not seen each other before today. Would you have become friends if you had met on a train?”

The orders are your choice

Orders can be given. Hitler gave many. But peace is still a choice, you have the ability to choose. No wars can happen or continue without soldiers willing to fight. It takes a stronger soldier to make a friend in times like these.

5 minutes for love

Can you both stop and call loved ones? 5 minutes that you will always remember. Now what if you all did and showed each other the pictures you carry in your wallet as well as your heart? You could decide.

If you took these moments to talk, I have no doubt you would find you have more in common than you have differences. War solves nothing and as the quote goes “The best way to get rid of your enemy is to make them your friend.” Abraham Lincoln

The Reality

If this sounds too fairytale, then let me point out something – this is not a whole country hating another country – this is one man inflicting his past’s pains on others for destruction and power. You both have merely been caught in the consequences of his anger and hurts. “If you don’t heal your wounds, you will bleed on those who didn’t cut you” Putin is bleeding on you all. Don’t hate each other for it.

5 minutes

5 minutes to live. 5 minutes to love. 5 minutes to tell those you love how important they’ve been to you. 5 minutes to say the things you’ve always meant to say. 5 minutes to feel more than just the fear and the pain of this war. Those at home will always remember it, no matter what happens to you.

And then who knows, maybe together you can decide to expand the 5 minutes – in time and with others. This isn’t two countries hating each other. This is one man of Russia wanting it all.

“I don’t want this! My daughter just learned how to walk and I want to be with her.” This is in the heart of a soldier somewhere. You can be certain of that.

Prayers are with you

The world is praying for your peace. We hope you feel it in your hearts.

It was a difficult holiday season for many, for a variety of reasons. Even family gatherings, or the lack of them, has left some with a bruised soul. But there is something we need to spread that goes beyond a virus or a limited perspective, and that’s the true spirit of Christmas and the new beginnings of 2022.

No matter which you center on, whether it be Santa Clause, Hanukah, or even Jesus himself, there are two things they all have in common – love and the energies it contains. Some see it as magic. Whatever you see it as, it’s real according to what you put out there. Children believe in Santa when they are young because they are led to, from the part of us that sees magic in the world. We celebrate the message of Christmas, not in what we give to others, but what we give to others of ourselves. The energy we give off flows to everyone on our path and if we are feeling simply the stress of it, we miss the very meaning of it all.

Your presence is your gift

The holiday itself may be over, but the message can be brought into the new year in our presence, in the moments for each other. Let your presence be your presents that will last beyond the year. It’s how we create deep moments that become precious memories. That is completely in our control by how much of a connection we take the time to make.

Have those heart-to-heart conversations with those you love. Tell them how they’ve touched your heart and let them know how much they matter to you. It doesn’t cost money or even require being in their physical presence. It only requires your undivided time. May the peace and love of Christmas be with you into the New Year.

Written by Melody Belliveau